The Egatz Epitaph

As we continue to watch the American Dream recede in our rearview mirrors, things look no less bleak for the retail book trade. As booksellers everywhere are pummeled from all sides, other industries are both feeling the hits and are in positions to pick up some bargains.

After betting on quick turnaround deals on mortgages by selling homes with punitive loan terms to unqualified buyers, which began a boom of hyper-inflated home pricing, which eventually triggered a global economic meltdown, which resulted in massive corporate layoffs, now Wall Street is blaming homeowners themselves for the foreclosure waves hitting month after month. With the average home worth half of what it was before the Second Great Depression, residential real estate has been a bargain hunter’s dream if you’ve got cash reserves and don’t plan on looking for financial credit.

The upshot of all this? If you’re seeking a place larger than the average-size American home, we know where you can pick up a real bargain. The only caveat is it’s in Michigan, which we here at The Egatz Epitaph have first-hand experience in, but that’s another story. Does 460,000 square feet sound like enough elbow room?

©Borders Inc.

Yep, that’s right. The corporate headquarters of Borders Inc. is up for grabs in Ann Arbor. The asking price is $18.349 million. At only $40 a square foot, you can’t go wrong. In fact, this is Michigan, so the mere promise of bringing more than five jobs into the local economy means you can probably strong-arm local officials into giving you a healthy tax abatement for the next few decades, at least.

Although we here at The Epitaph like to point out bad business decisions, we feel pretty terrible about this. It’s not good news. Borders was once the recipient of at least $300 a month when they acted as the sole dealer feeding our serious book addiction. If they hadn’t pulled our corporate discount, we’d still be helping them make their monthly nut on that 460,000 square foot location.

As it becomes more and more evident book superstores are going the way of CD retail chains, this is just another unhappy reminder of the state of the publishing industry. With even that old cash cow children’s picture books pulling dismal sales figures, things are not well in a nation which once prided itself on a broad-based educational system which created a highly-literate populace capable of becoming a skilled labor force.

With historically overpriced college textbooks migrating to iPad, even naysayers of that eReader are reconsidering it as a valuable way to consume the written word. Besides that, forests are being saved, and electronic editions are a lot easier to carry around than the dead tree editions, not to mention they’re easier for publishers to update.

We wish Borders, and, more importantly, Borders-employees, our good thoughts. The Kobo leaves a lot to be desired, but here’s hoping you figure out a strategy to save your jobs, your homes, and maybe even that big place at 100 Phoenix Drive. You know what they say about a phoenix. Here’s hoping.