The Egatz Epitaph

An aggregate site pointed me to a dilemma faced by Nadya Denise Doud-Suleman Gutierrez, known in the media as “Octomom.” She owes $450,000 on her home and is facing eviction. Vivid Entertainment has offered to pay off her debt if she has sex with strangers under some unforgiving camera lights. I don’t typically pay attention to non-news stories like this, but the deeper I probe, if you’ll pardon the expression, the more I feel my I.Q. leaking out of my ears.

Most porn flicks are shot in a day. That’s a pretty serious payday, especially when the bank is about to foreclose. I used to work as a production assistant on television commercials and corporate films, earning almost nothing for 20 hour overnight shoots.

On the other hand, you are what you do, and if you prostitute yourself for an afternoon to save the family homestead, your eight or fourteen children and their children will always be able to get their hands on Mom’s Big Adventure. This is not a small consideration.

Faustian bargain or no, one finds it impossible to realize hindsight is not necessary at this point in the narrative. It’s fairly obvious if you crank out fourteen children, life will not be easy by any stretch of the imagination.

I hope you have wise legal counsel and a superior therapist, Nadya. I have a tough time picking what shoes I’m going to wear each morning, or what poems I’m going to read as I approach the podium. You are more famous than most poets dream of becoming, although those fifteen minutes are a year behind you. A book of good poems lasts a little longer. My best thoughts to you on your difficult choice.